During my last visit in October 2010, Baaskaa and I discussed Buddhism and Shamanism. We had visited a monastery, which housed a school for young monks, whom we had the opportunity to observe during prayer & meditation. Upon his return to the countryside, Baaskaa imitated what he had seen and cut his hair in the monks’ fashion.
Now, at an important crossroad in his life, Baaskaa expressed a strong wish to visit a Shaman. He had a specific question he needed answered: is he on the right path and will he be successful in life.
We tried to find a Shaman that would allow us to go together, the Mongolian and the American, but all Shamans refused to see me. They pointed out that it would be difficult and confusing to call the spirits of my ancestors, as they are too far away.
I was heart broken; I had envisioned this moment since month and wanted to be there with Baaskaa. But to grant him his wish, I had to back out.
Selenge accompanied Baaskaa, since it was her Shaman, whom she regularly consults. Apparently it was a quick session. Selenge tried to give the Shaman a bit of Baaskaa’s back-story, but he just waved her off. He looked at Baaskaa for a long time until Baaskaa could feel a strange heat flowing through his body.
The Shaman confirmed that Baaskaa was on the right path. He said that he’d be fine, that he’d have a wonderful life if he keeps focusing on his goals, but he’d have to be careful not to be eaten up by his anger. His anger and wish for revenge would take over if he’d not control and tame it.
I was very surprised, but Baaskaa understood what the Shaman meant, and admitted that he was very angry.
At occasions I had seen his anger flare up, particular at the beginning of our relationship, towards me and now towards Byambaa, but that anger was either a tool of self-protection, or a result of disappointment.
When I came for the second time to Mongolia, I picked two more children I'd be responsible for, which disappointed Baaskaa. It made him feel he was just part of a program, rather then an individual that got chosen. As for Byambaa, Baaskaa felt disappointed lately because he became insecure about his status within Byambaa’s family. Was he a family member, which is what he had believed for the last three years or was he just a mere farm hand?
To me it’s obvious that anger can be a powerful tool of protection and a strong reaction to emotional pain and disappointment and Baaskaa had plenty of reasons to be disappointed. Unfortunately he thinks anger is simply bad and undesirable.
He described his anger as a sleeping lion, who lies in a hidden cave of his heart. After the Shaman visit he promised himself to make sure that the lion will stay in the cave, undisturbed.
I on the other hand, can’t wait for the lion to announce his presence with a loud roar!
For more information on Shamanism and Buddhism:
http://www.mongoliatourism.org/mongolia-introduction/religions-mongolia.html
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