Can I take on more children?

- Part two : re-evaluating my own approach to child care

Last fall I discovered that the foster system as we know it is entirely unknown in Mongolia. Children are seen as a support system; it is highly uncommon to take a child in, who is not part of one’s family. In the traditional family structure in Mongolia, an elder is supposed to be provided for by the younger members of the family.

Being dependent on and exposed to this harsh land and climate puts people in survival mode non-stop. Taking on a child that is not your own will always have an economic aspect on the host. (Even in the U.S. foster parents get compensated for the care of a child.) The child needs to eat and to be clothed, therefore the foster parents need some recompense.

This is why I wanted ‘my’ kids to have an asset from which they and the foster family would benefit, namely livestock. The past winter busted that concept and set us back. It became obvious that herding is as sensitive to ups and downs as any other job.

With this experience in mind, I decided to keep the numbers of children participating in the program small, but to intensify and personalize the care. Someone has to look at them as individuals and attend to their personal strengths and needs. In short, they need parents.

The foster parents working with us are wonderful caring people; they have done a great job stabilizing our kids and reintegrating them into a family and community. But now that the children need to venture out, back into the world, I realized they need more than a family that invites them to participate. They need a family that takes care of their special needs.

Who will teach Baaskaa how to find a job, open a bank account, budget his weekly living costs and find his own support system – in short, to live on his own? Who will teach Nasa to learn how to read and write, on a regular basis, instead of only when there is time? Who will take into consideration that the girl is delicate and needs special attention and encouragement when asked to leave familiar territory? And Vannie? He doesn’t know what he wants, because he has never been encouraged to think of possibilities outside of a holding pattern.

So here I am, two years into the making of my program and two years wiser! I don’t know how to do it yet; particularly since there aren’t many grants that fund specialized child-care across the globe. But somehow we will manage and see these kids through until they are able to stand on their own feet and live an independent life and give back.

It is not easy to make this decision since there are so many kids out there who need help. But in my gut I know we are heading in the right direction: taking on a few and treat them right.