My Last Day in Mongolia.

It’s difficult. Baaskaa is often closed-off and withdrawn and I can’t figure out why. He works every day, so I only get to see him in the evening. So far, he brought a friend home every night, which in general I have nothing against, except that he often uses them as a shield, not to get close to me.

In addition there are all these battles that you have to fight with every teenager, but with one who never had guidance in particular. I ask him to do something – in his interest – he says he will, and of course, he never does, which turns me into a nagging mother. Remember....?!

He has never learned how to pursue a goal. His goals are often out of reach that he sets himself up for failure; consequently he gets depressed and gives up. He doesn’t know that success has a lot to do with making a lot of baby steps, many of them boring. It’s tough, to top it off, he is now at an age when he doesn’t want to be told what to do.

This NYT article describes the hard ship of lacking sufficient support pretty well. Although the featured girls are way ahead of him, they still deal with the similar issues.

His lack of know-how is another reason why I want him to come to NYC. Foremost I want him to learn English, which will be the first step of achieving something that yields instant results; he’ll be able to communicate with me, his environment and it will enhance his chances for a better job at home. Additionally I also want him to be with me for an extended period of time, so I can teach him how to pursue goals. Not that I know it all, or that I am the greatest teacher, but I am pretty much the only one around right now.

But I have to admit, I hit a wall, I am not superwoman. It's hard to give and do and stay cheerful for a long time, without getting much in return, while away from everything that gives me comfort.

I have to remind myself where he comes from, although that's not how I want to define him. However, I am always amazed how well he is together, given his upbringing, so when I hit a wall, I have to shift focus onto how much he has achieved in a short time.

Last night I got a glimpse of his inner turmoil; clearly sad about my imminent leave, but without looking at me, he asked when I’ll return. All I can think off is “I am still here, talk to me!”

This traditional coat, called deel, was my welcome gift from Baaskaa. He must have spent more then a third of his monthly salary to buy it for me, which broke my heart. The round sign, a common symbol in Mongolia, means happiness.  

I swear, if he will come to NY, I will wear it to pick him up from the airport.